Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.
********************************************************************
Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:
********************************************************************
Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
Kyun...
Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this babys voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON”
Latest Jokes on Sardar
New Sardarji Jokes
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: "Take my card."
Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."
***************************************************************
SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
TAMIL KID JOKES
Father Son Joke
Father: Ennada ella subject layum oru mark mattum vaangi irukka?
Son: Nee thana sonna, ellathalyum Number 1'na varanum endru.
Student Joke
Student 1: Eppadi da unga appa kitta progress report'la sign vaanguna. Nee than ella subject layum fail aachhae.
Student 2: Ungalala iruttula sign poda mudiyuma endru panthayam vacchaen. Avarum othukittaru. Light'ta off panneettu report card'dai neettittaen.
Appa Amma Magan Joke
Son: Appa, ungala vida amma periyavangala?
Father: illa, aen?
Son: Neenga than sonneenga periyavangala ethirthu pesa koodadu endru. Adha vachu than solluraen.
Funny Family Joke
Naina: Amma adichadarkku aenda ippadi aluvara?
Son: Unnai maadiri ennala vali thanga mudiyadhu naina.
Teacher Student Joke
Teacher; aana aavvana sollu da.
Student;Theriyathu sir
Teacher; Idhu kooda theriyalai? Nee yenda schoolu'kku vara, maadu maykka vendiadu thanea.
Student; maadu maykka kuda theriyala'nuthan, palli kudathuku anupinar.
Submitted by sriram on 01-Sep-2009
Internet Kadi Joke
Boy1: Enna night fulla ulundhu ulundhu book padichhum nee fail ayittiya?
Boy2: Aaamam. Aenna naan padichadhu "Facebook"
Exam Kid Joke
Kid: Paatti naan exam eludha poraen.
Paattu: Nalla paarthu eldittu vaappa.
Tamil Kids Joke
Kid: Naina, naan kanakkula noothukku nooru vaangina enna pannuva?
Naina: Appadiyae mayakkam pottu vilundiduvaen.
Kid: Neenga mayakkam poda koodadhu enbadarkku dhan naan 25 mark vaangi irukkaen.
Teacher Kids Joke in Tamil
Kid1: En class teacher solli tharadhu enakku suthama puriyavae illa.
Kid2: Adha vidu, en class teacher solli tharadhu avarukkae puriya villai.
Cat and Kid Tamil Joke
Mummy: Poonai ella paal'laiyum kudichirichu. Adhu varaikkum ennada panni kittu irundha?
Son: Indha poonai'yum paal kudikkuma endru paarthu kondu irundhaen Mummy.
Super Tamil Kid Joke
En payyan seidha velai naala ennala veliya thalaiya kaata mudiyala!
Appadi enna pannaan?
En "WIG"gai kuppaiyila thooki pottuttan.
Kitten and Kid Joke
Mother: Aenda poonai'yoda kadhula paala oothura?
Son: Neenga dhana amma sonneenga, poonai oru vaayilla jeevan endru. Adhan.
Exam Joke in Tamil
En payyan first class'la pass pannittan.
Mela enna padikka vaikka poreenga?
Second class dhan.
Mokkaiappan Joke
Payyan1: En appavai naan madhipadhae illai. Nee eppadi?
Payyan2: Eng'appanavae naan madhipadhillai, indha lakchanathula ungappanai vera madhikka venuma?
Father: Dey, en pocket'la 100 roova vachu irundhaen, ippa 10 roovai dhan irukku.
Son: Neenga dhana noothukku 90 edhukka soneenga.
Man1: En payyan kitta, oorla ellorum mookkula kai vaikkara maadiri edhavadhu oru kaariyam
senja, unga thatha sandosha paduvaaru endru sonnadhu thappa poiyirichu.
Man2: Aen, enna pannan?
Man1: Septic Tank'kai therandhu vittutttan.
Mokkai joke
DAD: Pakathu veetu ponnu evaluvu mark vangiruku, avala partha'vathu nalla padi.
SON:Ayyo! avala parthu parthu tha pa na padikamala poiten.
Submitted by MaZzgroup on 13-Dec-2009
TAMIL SMS MOKKAI JOKES
Cricket Joke in Tamil
Who thought of the "One Day INternationals" cricket match (ODI)?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Who?
?
Its mahakavi Bharathiaar because he sang "ODI vilayadhu paappa"
Computer Mokkai Tamil Jokes
Two foxes went to the jungle in different directions. Eppadi kandupudippenga?
'Bi-Nari' search..
Maths Mokkai SMS Jokes
90 thadava paavam senjaa, 45 thadava maatipeenga... eppadi?
aenna, SIN 90 = COT 45
idhu eppadi irukku?
More Computer Mokkai SMS Joke
What would you call a girl driving a car?
?
?
A Pen Drive.
Geometry SMS Mokkai Joke
Who is more intelligent among the two: SQUARE or CIRCLE?
?
?
Answer: Square.... because Squaru'kku naalu moolai. Circle'lukku moolayae illa.
More Kadi Mokkai SMS Joke
Oru aalu oru kaakka valarthan
Atha touch panna, romba smooth'aa soft'aa irukkum
Avan adukku yenna peyar vaippan?
?
?
?
"MI-CRO-SOFT"
Sema kadi joke
Why do MUNIVARS have so much resistance to worldy pleasures?
Because they constantly keep saying OHM OHM OHM which is unit of resistance...
Eppadi namma physics?
Learn Hindi through Tamil
"Dhuniya me koyi nahi hai" - ulagathil koli illa
"koyi bath nahi" - koli kullikaradhu illa
"woh bar bar aathaa hai" - adhu barber'oda aathha
Proud to be Hindi student
Next series of Harry Potter films in Tamil
Harry Potter and the Bottle of Quarter
Harry Potter and Sappa Matter
Harry Potter and Avar Vitta Peter
Harry Potter and personal matter
Harry Potter and his love letter
Kid Joke
Oru paiyan road-la pOkumpOthu, thummikkittae pOnaan....
Yeannu kEattaaa avan cholraan,
avan oru PODI paiyanaam.....
ayyoooo... ayyooooo....
COMPUTER THIRUKKURAL
1.Bug kandupiditharae oruthal avar naana DeBUG seidhuvidal…
2.COPY PASTE seidhu vazhvaarae vazhvoar mattravarellam CODING seidhu saavaar.
3.emmozhi marandhaarkum JOB undaam JOB illai C i Marandhavarkku.
4.CHAT -tinil YAHOO.Chat seiga illaiyael CHAT-in CHATtaamai nandr..
Santa Banta Sms Jokes
- Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother.
- Santa:I got married bcoz I was tired of cooking,cleaning home and washing clothes.Banta:Amazing,I got divorce 4 te same
- Santa: Why have you increased speed of car?Banta: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.
- Santa:Why are you heating the knife.Banta:To do suicide.Santa:But why are you heating it?Banta:To prevent infection.
- Santa: Why do you close your eyes while playing the piano? Banta: I can't see the agony of the audience.
- Santa:What happened in 1869? Banta:Mahatma Gandhi was born. Santa:What happened in 1873?Banta:Gandhi was 4 years old.
- How do you Make Santa Laugh on a Sunday.? ? ? Tell him a Joke on a Wednesday.
Friendship Sms jokes
Love is not just made for lover .. Its for friend who loves each other better than lover like u and me
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have...
friendship between u n me will last forever no matter wat happen becoz we r true friend
All friends are not True. But true friends are very few, Which includes U
There are many ships in the sea like gold ships.silver ships and many more ships but the best ship is friendship
Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.
Flowers need sunlight, tulips need dew, all angels need heaven, and i need you!bestfriend never leave you alone, when u are hurt.
Distence can never weaken our relationship 4 wat is in our hearts &minds r stronger than our outside force.
Teacher asks students, what do u wish 2 do in future? Vinod: I want 2b a doctor. Deepa: I want 2b a good mother. Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:- C-Come, O-On, L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each, G-Girl, E-Equally……Thats why boys go to college
Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains. So what do the rest have?...............They have girl friends:p
Parents to a college watchman: is this college good? Watchman replied i did my MBA here and got placement immediately...
Marriage Sms Jokes
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs.
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in Life.
SMS Dictionary A, B, C...
A
AAM As a matter of fact.
AB Ah Bless!
ADctd2uv Addicted to Love
AFAIK As far as I know
AKA Also known as
ALlWanIsU All I want is You
AML All my love
ASAP As soon as possible
ATB All the best
ATW At the weekend
AWHFY Are we having fun yet
B4 Before
BBFN Bye Bye for now.
BBS Be back soon
BBSD Be back soon darling
BCNU Be seein' you
BF Boy Friend
BGWM Be gentle with me (please)
BRB Be right back
BTW By the way
Cld9? Cloud 9?
Cm Call me
Cu See you
CUIMD See you in my dreams
Cul See you later
CUL8R See you later
--------------------------------
D
Dk Don't know
Dur? Do you remember
E
E2eg Ear to ear grin
EOD End of discussion
EOL End of lecture
--------------------------------
F
F? Friends
F2F face to face
F2T Free to talk
FITB Fill in the Blank
FYEO For your eyes only.
FYA For your amusement
FYI For your information
--------------------------------
G
GF Girlfirend.
GG Good Game
GMeSumLuvin Give me some lovin’!
Gr8 Great
GSOH Good Salary, Own Home
GTSY Glad to see you
--------------------------------
H
h2cus Hope to see you soon
H8 Hate
HAGN Have a good night
HAND Have a nice day
HldMeCls Hold me close
Ht4U Hot for You
H&K Hugs and Kisses
--------------------------------
I
IDK I dont know
IGotUBabe Ive got you Babe
IIRC If I recall correctly
IMHO In my humble opinion
IMI I mean it
ILU I love You
IMBLuv It must be Love
IOW In other words...
IOU I owe you
IUSS If you say so
--------------------------------
J
J4F just for fun
JFK Just for kicks
JstCllMe Just call Me
K
KC keep cool
KHUF know how you feel
KIT Keep in touch
KOTC Kiss on the cheek
KOTL Kiss on the lips
--------------------------------
L
L8 Late
L8r Later
Lol laughing out loud
LTNC Long time no see
LtsGt2gthr Lets get together
--------------------------------
M
M$ULkeCrZ Miss you like Crazy!
M8 mate
MC merry Christmas
MGB May God Bless
Mob
MYOB Mind your own Business
--------------------------------
N
NA No access
NC No comment
NE Any
NE1 Anyone
No1 No-One
NWO No way out
--------------------------------
O
O4U only for you
OIC Oh, I see.
OTOH On the other hand
--------------------------------
P
PCM Please call me
PPL People
--------------------------------
Q
QT Cutie
--------------------------------
R
R Are
RMB Ring my
ROTFL Roll on the floor laughing
RU? Are you?
RUOK? Are you Ok?
--------------------------------
S
SC Stay cool
SETE Smiling Ear to Ear
SO Significant Other
SOL sooner or later
SME1 Some One
SRY Sorry
SWALK Sent with a loving Kiss
SWG Scientific Wild Guess
--------------------------------
T
T+ Think positive
T2ul Talk to you later
TDTU Totally devoted to you
Thx Thanks
T2Go Time to Go
TIC Tounge in Cheek
TMIY Take me Im yours
TTFN Ta ta for now.
--------------------------------
U
U You
UR Y ou are
URT1 Your are the one
--------------------------------
V
VRI Very
--------------------------------
W
W4u Waiting for you
WAN2 Want to
WLUMRyMe Will you marry Me?
WRT With respect to
WUWH Wish you were here
--------------------------------
X
X! Typical Woman
X Kiss
XclusvlyUrs Exclusively Yours
--------------------------------
Y
Y! Typical Man
YBS You’ll be Sorry
--------------------------------
Z
SMS Dictionary
Numeric
:-0 hbtu 0-: happy birthday to you
@WRK At work 2bctnd to be continued.
2d4 to die for
2g4u to good for you
2Ht2Hndl Too hot to handle.
2l8 too late
2WIMC To whom it may concern
4e forever
4yeo for your eyes only
Tamil SMS Jokes
Parthiban & Vadivel Jokes
Parthiban: Vazhai Pazham evlo?
Vadivalu: Onnu 1 Roopa
Parthiban: 60 Paisaku varatha?
Vadivalu: 60 Paisaku tholdhan varum.
Parthiban: Appadinna Indha 40 Paisa thola vachukittu Pazhatha Mattum kudu
Vadivalu: Vandhttanya Vandhttan!!!
-----------------------------------------
Yean thanni thelichchu Kolam poduranga theriyuma???
Kolam pottuttu thanni thelicha Kolam Azhinjidum adhaan…
Eeeeeeeeeeeeee
-----------------------------------------
Nee Enbadhu
Orezhuththu…
Naam Enbadhu
Eerezhuththu…
Anbu Enbadhu
Moonrezhuththu…
Inbam Enbadhu
Naangezhuththu…
Unakku Ellam
SmS Anuppuradhu
En
Thalai Ezhuththu!!!!
-----------------------------------------
Orutharukku Bank-la irundhu notice vanthuchu…
“Sir, Ungaloda credit card thriudu poi irukku…
aanal, neenga innum oru report- kooda kudukkalayea Ean sir???”
Atharku andha Person-oda reply….
“Adhu thirudu ponadhu romba sandhosamdhanga….
Ean-na andha thirudan ennoda wife-i vida limit-ta dhan
Selavu panran….”
-----------------------------------------
Office Sms Jokes
Staff1: Office-la Mobile-la Silentlathan Use pannanumnu Manager sollittar.
Staff2: Ean???
Staff1: Mathavanga thookkathai kedukka koodatham Adhan!!!
----------------------------------
SmS Thathuvam…
Thathuvam solli romba naal achulla
adhan ippo sollalamunu…
Ennathan Namakku Rendu(2) kadhu irundhalum
Onnunu(1) Sonna Onnunu(1)dhan Ketkum…
Eppudi…
Adikkathinga Friends…
-----------------------------------------
Villager: Oru Thanni Bottle Kodunga
Kadaikarar: Anga irukku eduthukkonga…
Villager: Enna eamatha pakkuriya adhula “Bacteria Free”-nu
pottirukkula, Kodu ennoda free Bacteria-yavai!!!
Kadaikarar: ???
-----------------------------------------
Nee Azhudhal Unnai
“Sirikka Vaikka”
Nee Thuvandaal unnai
“Urchaaga Padutha”
Nanbargal Mattum Alla…
Naanum Unnudandhan Irukkirean…
Smart SmS Jokes
A new client meets a famous lawyer.
Client: Can you tell me how much do you charge?
Lawyer: I charge $200 to answer three questions!
Client: Well that’s a bit steep, isn’t it?
Lawyer: Yes it is, and what’s your third question?
******************************************
A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me … They must be gods!
A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me … I must be a god!
******************************************
A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.
Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga had totally cured her nervousness. “No,” she replied, “but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.
******************************************
Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, Yes !! An amazing effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.
SMS Jokes
Husband & Wife Jokes
Husband : Kamala Oru Cup Coffee…..! .?
Wife : Yennaadhu.?!
Husband : Unakku Coffee Tharattumaannu Keattean…!
-------------------------------------------------------
English SmS Jokes
Smile Sms
smile in ease
smile in pain
smile when trouble pore like rain
smile when someone hurt ur feelings
-------------------------------------------------------
Naughty SmS Jokes
UKG Son to his Mom
Son: I Don’t Want
to Go to School
Mom: Why.?
Son: Want to work
Mom: What Work
Will You Do With
UKG Knowledge.?
Son: Take Tution
for LKG GIRLS
-------------------------------------------------------
Friendship SmS
“Few Relations In Earth Never Die.”
Want to know what it is.?
Read again..
(F) few
(R) relations
(I) in
(E) earth
(N) never
(D) die…
------------------------------------
7 Rules to be HAPPY:
Posted by Anand under College Jokes , English SmS Jokes , Friendship SmS
1 Comment
1 – Meet ME
2 – Phone ME
3 – Email ME
4 – Fax ME
5 – Courier ME
6 – Think of ME
Idhellaam Illainaalum
Paravaailla
7 – Just SMS ME!!!
Before & After Marriage Joke
BEFORE MARRIAGE
John – Ah… At last, I can hardly wait!!!
Jane – Do you want me to leave?
John – NO! Don’t even think about it.
Jane – Do you Love me???
John – Of course!!! Always have and always will
Jane – Have you ever cheated on me???
John – No! Why are you even asking???
Jane – Will you kiss me???
John – Every chance I get!!!
Jane – Will you hit me???
John – Hell no! Are you crazy?!?!
Jane – Can I trust you?
John – Yes
Jane – Darling!!!
AFTER MARRIAGE
Read from the bottom back to the TOP!!!
New Bowling Rules
Supplemental Rules for Bowling
If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".
When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.
After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.
When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.
After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".
If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.
A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.
Computer Jokes
1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.
3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.
4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.
5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So Windows is not a virus.
It's a bug.
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got1,000 miles to the gallon."
General Motors has issued a press release stating:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car XP" or "Car 2000". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only work on 5% of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning light would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the justice dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You would press the "start " button to shut off the engine.
Birds and Bees
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.
A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.
And a airline stewardness says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.
"I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check in my pocket."
"Oh really," she spat. "Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour!"
Children Jokes
Letter to GOD
The postmaster thought this was such a nice gesture from a young child and decided to sent this letter on to President. President was so touched by the little boy's sincerity that he told his secretary to send the boy $5.
Upon receiving the money, the boy wrote the following thank you letter:
"Dear God- Thank you for the money. I noticed you sent it through Washington D.C. and of course, they have deducted $95. Love, Joey"
Manager Jokes
Wish of project manager
Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are working on a project.About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you 3 wishes, but since there are 3 of you, I will grant you each one wish."
The hardware engineer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.
The software engineer went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.
Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.
"I want them both back after lunch" replied the project manager.
